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WHY THEM AND NOT ME!


Often times we get caught up on social media and all that's going on around us that we get in a state of feeling like we aren't enough. Every time we get on our social media page someone is getting married , engaged, announcing pregnancy, buying a house, traveling, having a baby, getting that promotion, starting a business, getting accepted to some higher education and etc.


Now while these are all great things and we are happy for our friends let's face it we start to look at ourselves and think what's wrong with me? Why can't I do all this? Where is my King? Where is my raise? How come I can't travel like them? And the list goes on and on. In those moments we should take the time to be still and ask ourselves are we in position for those things we desire? What do I want out of life? What am I doing to work towards those goals?


If we take the focus off what we lack in comparison to others and start focusing on ourselves we would be one step closer to achieving our goals. Keep in mind that social media isn't the big picture because people only show you what they want in order to get likes and comments. An example of this was the infamous #BowWowChallenge when Bow Wow tried to convince us on social media that he was traveling on a private jet, but he was on a regular plane ride. Yes, we laughed.


But, we too have been somewhat guilty of doing this. Maybe not to that extent but we have. I mean really think about it as soon as we go out with our girlfriends or man to a nice brunch or dinner we take our phones out and start posting about what a great time we are having. But when things aren't going so well we go on a hiatus from social media. Why don't we post when we go through some s#%+? Here's why. Society has programmed us to think that we need to be perfect or at least close to it! This is false ladies! We are humans at the end of the day. When we are going through something it's in those moments we can use it as a teaching moment to help another sister out. I am guilty of this. Believe me, I go through so many things in silence and talk about it only after I have come through the storms! However, when I realized that we are more alike than different, I now had the courage to speak out.

Ladies, I'm going to be transparent for a minute - I am FAR from having my s#%+ together.

There are times after paying my bills I don't have much money left over, like le struggle is REAL. I get so overwhelmed sometimes I just want to run and hide from the world. Sometimes I cry on the way home from work because I'm exhausted and I have to go write notes for work, make dinner for my husband, and complete my homework assignment/discussion post. There's times I don't want to hear my friends problems because I want to be totally selfish and talk about how I feel like I'm falling apart or questioning my career choice. There are times I'm disgusted with myself because I gained so much weight being stressed about school and now I can't do much working out because my sciatic nerve is pinched from when I decided to get a trainer and overworked myself. There are days I get extreme baby fever and really want one but know I couldn't possibly afford a child on my current salary and I don't really have the time to fit a child into my current schedule. Moving to Florida, I knew I would have to sacrifice getting paid less to live in an environment I really wanted to be in. But honestly, I have been through hell here at times by not being able to afford the life I dreamt of.


Instead of complaining about it, I put on a smile, say a prayer, and do what I gotta do to create the life I want for myself!

Yes pursuing my Doctorate degree is thee hardest thing I've ever done but it is completely necessary for me to get where I want to be in my current career. So when you see me post on social media don't think "oh, she has it all together." No at all! It is all by God's Grace I am able to continue on my journey! Most of all because of my circumstances I have learned to count it all joy since it's preparing me for the things I desire in my future. How can I be a BOSS, inspire others, be the best wife, and some day a mother, if I've never been through anything? When you see me posting that I'm out - trust and believe it is because it was FREE or close to it lol. ALL of my coins are accounted for! Someone invited me and said they got me or I went on Groupon/Google to find free events/deals to support my social life. Most of all, I am aware that as hard as I work I must play equally as hard and make time for the people in my life that matters the most! The next time you go on social media try reframing your mind to be grateful for what you have now and use it as fuel to go for your goals with a passion like never before. Remember, you are Loved, Blessed, and a BOSS in your own regards!


Love you 😘

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